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23.08.2009 [Lyrics] Keep the FaithKeep The Faith
--Michael Jackson
If You Call Out Loud Will It Get Inside Through The Heart Of Your Surrender To Your Alibis And You Can Say The Words Like You Understand But The Power's In Believing So Give Yourself A Chance 'Cause You Can
Climb The Highest Mountain Swim The Deepest Sea, Hee All You Need Is The Will To Want It And Uhh, Little Self-Esteem So Keep The Faith Don't Let Nobody Turn You 'Round You Gotta Know When It's Good To Go To Get Your Dreams Up Off The Ground Keep The Faith, Baby, Yea Because It's Just a Matter Of Time Before Your Confidence Will Win Out Believe In Yourself No Matter What It's Gon' Take You Can Be A Winner But You Got to Keep The Faith ...Gon' Keep It Brother You Got It And When You Think Of Trust
Does It Lead You Home To A Place That You Only Dream Of When You're All Alone And You Can Go By Feel 'Stead Of Circumstance
But The Power's In Beliving So Give Yourself A Chance I Know That You Can Sail Across The Water Float Across The Sky, High Any Road That You Take Will Get You There If You Only Try So Keep The Faith, Ow Don't Let Nobody Take You Down, Brother Just Keep Your Eyes On The Prize And Your Feet Flat On The Ground
Keep The Faith, Baby, Yea Because It's Just a Matter Of Time Before Your Confidence Will Win Out I Told My Brother How To Do The Thing Right Lift Up Your Head And Show The World You Got Pride Go For What You Want Don't Let 'em Get In Your Way You Can Be A Winner but You Got To Keep The Faith Gon' Keep It Brother You Got It I Know That Keepin' The Faith Means Never Givin' Up On Love But The Power That Love Has To Make It Right Makes It, Makes It Right Keep The Faith Don't Let Nobody Turn You 'Round Brother You Got To Know When It's Good To Go To Get Your Dreams Up Off The Ground Keep The Faith, Baby, Yea Because It's Just A Matter Of Time Before Your Confidence Will Win Out Better Stand Up And Act Like You Wanna Do Right Don't Play The Fool For The Rest Of Your Life Work On It Brother And You'll Make It someday Go For What You Want And Don't Forget The Faith
Look At Yourself, And What You Doin' Right Now Stand Back A Minute Just To Check Yourself Out Straighten Out Your Life,, And How You're Livin' Each Day Get Yourself Together, 'Cause You Got To Keep The Faith Uh, Uh, Uh Don't Let Nobody Take You Down, Brother Just Keep Your Eyes On The Prize And Your Feet Flat On The Ground Keep The Faith, Baby, Yea Because It's Just A Matter Of Time Before Your Confidence Will Win Out Lift Up Your Mind Before Your Mind Gets Blown Some Things In Life You Best Just Leave Them Alone Go For What You Want, Don't Let It Get In Your Way You Can Make It Happen, But Ya Got Ta Keep The Faith Gon' Keep It Brother You Got To Keep The Faith Yeah Keep The Faith Gon' Keep It Sister You Got To Keep The Faith, Now, Now I'll Show My Brotha How To Do The Thing Right Lift Up Your Head , And Show The World You Got Pride Go For What You Want , Don't Let 'Em Get In Your Way You Can Be A Winner, If You Keep The Faith Straighten Out Yourself, And Get Your Mind On Track Dust Off Your Butt, And Get Your Self-Respect Back You've Known Me Long Enough, To Know That I Don't Play Take It Like You Want It , But You Got To Keep The Faith Gon' Don't Let Nobody Take You Down Just Keep Your Eyes On The Prize And Get Your Feet Back On The Ground Keep The Faith, Baby, Yea Because It's just a Matter Of Time Before Your Confidence Will Win Out But Till That Day, I Said You've Got To Keep The Faith! 27.07.2009 UntitledLife always seems to be replete with coincidences, or, as we Chinese tend to say, with cycles that could hopefully be fancy or may well be rather absurd.
At the end of last July, when I was composing my last journal in english, the very journal which was sharply criticized by my little cousin as "showing off how good your english is", this new piece of words here emerging with its not-known-yet content could hardly be predicted by any piece of my mind back there. However, just one whole year between two journals in english, which in fact have nothing to do with each other, bring me this cycle thing in mind, since I'm usually curious in finding the tendency of my own behavior and trying to dig out those reasons behind it.
And how about this one year's time, what could it possibly induce that brings me back the willing to write in english again?
Maybe the explanation for this question holds nothing more than a long list of all the other journals, in Chinese of course, during this year. They simply make me feel that the time has elapsed long enough not to compose any english sentences, that it would not make a bad choice to "show off" once again.
"Discover yourself", the ancient Greek philosopher once said. Thus I believe if I put my mind in discovering all the odds during this year, the answer above is more likely to be replaced by another long, complicated and dull story, well then, better not to.
But what to show remains something lies behind. Is there any new evil thoughts taking shape in me? Or did any regretful incidents happen because of the presumptuous and fatuous part in my character? Or has anyone got grievously hurt as a result of interacting with me? These questions coming from nowhere find there way easily to push me to find a church, face the father, and make confess saying "Forgive me father, for I have sinned...". Yet speaking of confessing, I did have mentioned once to someone that I could probably finally find my own peace by becoming a Christian and praying for forgiveness. But that happened more than one year ago, those words have long vanished from my life, together with the fancy feelings I had on that person to whom I was giving that little speech.
Besides all that matters, the short existence of those words reminds me there was once when I was not the evil one. At that time, everything was right where they should be, and all the dark side of the world hadn't revealed its cold-blooded face in front of me. Evil, when I chose the word, I have said it all. It is evil when I stuck all day's time in the dormitory wasting passion and energy with computer and nicotine, when I ignored the damage to my own morality to plunge into meaningless and ridiculous affairs, when I keep on breaking the principles that were often referred to as the Bible for my life.
I was just told not to be too critical about life and myself, "just try to live a superficial way". It seems I have just failed to follow this advice. It's OK, it's hard to keep one's mind at the critical edge all the time, most part of my life is still nice and easy, see the wrinkles on my handsome face?:)
Last but not least, IS ANYONE REALLY WILLING TO READ THIS WHOLE JOURNAL THROUGH...? Anyway, it's all dull and meaningless, just venting out of my pores.
20.06.2009 某个凌晨半夜被外面很大的音响声吵醒，好像是楼下的在看电影，17号楼薄如纸片的水泥板在这位伙计的低音炮面前显得那么的软弱无力。于是干脆起来，打开电脑，到处乱看。 一阵乱逛，点开了冯萍的一篇日志，写她对刚游览过的里斯本的感触和喜爱。“那明艳的颓废”也让我对她的文笔有了新的认识，心里先是浮现出佩服二字，佩服她的文字功底原是如此深厚。随后便对自己现在文思枯竭般状态的失落，也很想写些看上去不错的东西，却连自己都觉得写出来没有一点美感。平日里长吁短叹“手生，手生”，却仍旧很少真正愿意好好动笔。去看自己以往的日记，只会越发感到自己在逐渐衰老，思维活力在衰老，写作时的激情也在衰老。或许只是因为长久不写，或许也因为生活缺乏可写的内容——除了整日混迹嘉定校园，吃喝扯淡，对着漂亮女生暗叫“Oh Dear God”，现在的生活内容的确乏善可陈。我想的确是这样，没有了往日五彩斑斓的生活和对这生活的好奇与期盼，仅凭着岁月留下给我的自以为是的成熟，我似乎只会觉得身边的一言一行、一草一木并没有值得记录的价值。 混迹过三年以上的地方里，除了老家，或许就算得上是嘉定校区了。大三大四初来时的新奇与懵懂，伴着百年校庆的热闹劲，让我玩闹着度过了两年的时光。一切似乎都那么自然而然，我连一点过渡的感觉都还没有，便又结束了又一个没有什么不同的暑假，又一次坐进了教室，又一次开始听同济的老师讲述彷佛同样的课程。这种没有一丝裂痕的毕业，反而让我一度很无助，它用一种柔软的力量，驱赶着我不知方向地行走。 起初，我也不自觉地想要寻找新的东西，虽然不知道为什么要这么做，只是觉得虽然人还是在这里，终究还是毕业了，终究应该跟以前有所不同。然而除了新宿舍和我又一个新的班级，我始终没能在生活里再添进些什么了。在这样柔软却不容动摇的力量面前，我还是只能选择顺从，选择回到那已经设定好的轨迹里。就像长在树枝上的果子，它本来还想在开花之前再长得高一些，再多接受些阳光和雨水，再让更多的蜜蜂和蝴蝶来为它传粉，可它已经到了这树枝的尽头，结果、成熟、落地，未曾有过选择的机会。 之前一次聊天，不知为何说到我大学毕业后对学生身份的脱离进行得不顺利，似乎花去了我近两年的时间，仅仅只是为了意识到这个问题。至于接下来该如何主动、有效地去行动，却仍旧模糊不清。工作、立业、成家，好像本应该需要考虑的不是什么方向，而只是什么方式的问题。但每当想到这里，总又好像碰到了那堵柔软的墙，不痛，却很无力。这样的感觉就像弹吉他的大横按：你用尽全力把左手食指按下去，右手仍旧拨不出应有的和弦，无论你如何变换角度，如何伸直或者弯曲食指，却总是徒劳。 横按需要的是力量，没有什么取巧的办法。唯有咬牙坚持过一阵阵小臂和虎口的酸痛过后，或许能向成功的横按有一丝的靠近吧。 2009年4月
16.06.2009 [转] 婴儿们转载自 蓓^@^蓓 转载于2009年05月20日 ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… 因为上周日被幼儿园看门大妈强行关在门外遭受北风那个吹事件，我深陷愤怒和克制的纠结中，今天整理这半年我接触的小孩儿，突然被另一种情绪取代了。 这半年已经带148个婴儿和63个幼儿做了实验，接触的孩子最小5个月29天，最大5岁半。以前从来没在意过孩子是怎么成长起来的，他们怎么开始坐，怎么开始爬，怎么开始走，又是怎么开始说第一个词，怎么开始数数，怎么开始那么烦人要我追着整理玩具！！！而婴儿也不止10次地出现在我梦里，梦见ln一手拿着天线宝宝一手从江湖大盗手里抢婴儿，还比较雷滴梦见我怀孕了特别担心不会养，因为那天白天看到了新生儿的脆弱和婴儿猝死症的东西，为啥我不担心我还没结婚啊。。。。 其实看再多书，都不如自己手把手的养一个。。。 6个月的孩子，印象最深刻的是那家眯眯眼爹娘的。爹娘长的幽默，孩子也爱笑，6个月孩子其实没那么好玩，不会讲话也基本不理解世界，但是那个宝宝一逗就咯咯笑，然后尖叫一阵以示欢乐。。。另一个就是摄影迷爸爸那家的，他爸爸拿着摄像机说，照~~他就把脸凑近使劲一笑，虽然我想起了巴普诺夫拿狗做的条件反射实验，不过没忍心说。。。 12个月的孩子大多刚刚开始走，有的慢的还在爬，把房间角落都爬遍了，那几天我一直不拖地，实验室还很干净。。。不过有的发育快的走起来就很可爱，一扭一扭的，然后吧唧摔一跤，还趴在地上不动等人来抱，等半分钟如果没人来才自己爬起来。。。印象深的那家穿了个大号鞋的宝宝，摔倒了打算爬起来，可是鞋太滑竟然爬了十几下，终于站起来，然后又倒了。。。 14个月的孩子差不多就能交流了，最神奇的就是你说什么他就做什么，问他电视机他就指电视机，问他阿姨在哪里他就指我，可问他姐姐在哪他就环视一下然后沉默。。。还都喜欢抢我的笔和纸，喜欢推小板凳，玩玩具的方法永远不是玩具的实际用法。。。奇了怪了，他们喜欢干的很有一致性，这是人类的先天偏好吗？ 17、8个月，也就是1岁半的宝宝开始语言爆发，有的已经爆发了，自言自语一大堆，但是没人能听懂，有的还没爆发，急的半天说不出自己要干啥。。。最可怜那个宝宝要去玩屋里的玩具，爸爸不让，就抓着衣服把她从屋里给提出来了，我惊。。。 最喜欢2、3岁的小朋友了。比如他们会数数，但是摆些东西让他们数有几个，他们会望着这堆东西然后说1234567，7个，再让他们数一遍，他们又说，12345678910，10个，最后问他那到底有多少啊，他说，这么少~~~~还有一次带3岁的小朋友上楼，走着走着她突然转身下楼，我问她怎么了，她说，前面有大灰狼。。。 基本上每个星期，我都要给他们拖尿，有一次一个宝宝没有用帮宝适，用的尿布，我还抓了一手。。。最臭的是一次有个宝宝病了拉在地上，好臭啊！！！我当场被臭晕，那怎么是个1岁半的宝宝能拉出来的啊，我立刻以找卫生纸为名逃跑了，剩下他妈妈清理现场。后来我只敢远远望着他的小屁股，上面全是臭臭，她妈妈就一点一点的擦，那个时候我就想我妈妈了。。。 说到这里，再想想宝宝的成长，真的是一条很漫长的路。。。有句话，我一把屎一把尿地把你拉扯大，只有你真的当了爸妈才能体会。。。当你来到这个世界的时候生命何其脆弱，几包奶粉就能把你废了。。。你每天排泄的干湿两样物质，是爸爸妈妈在后面给你清理。。。你身体成熟到一定程度，他们带着你爬来爬去，扶着你站起来，接着诱惑你迈出第一步。。。他们不停的和你讲话，告诉你这是电视那是阿姨，教你正确的发出这些声音。。。 很可惜，从进入幼儿园开始，我们的社交圈从家庭扩大到社会，我们接受的东西不再局限于父母所给与的，从那天开始我们和父母之间埋下了未来不合的种子。。。再后来学校教育不仅给与我们知识本身，也让我们有了对认识的认识，我们开始玩弄自己的思维，构建出形形色色的ＸＸ观，我们和爸爸妈妈就像达芬奇的鸡蛋一样永远不会一摸一样了。。。 这一天，当爸爸妈妈问你电视机在哪里你不再会乖乖的指电视机，因为你认为自己不是他们的扯线木偶，你却没想到他们就像都市的外来工那样曾为你的世界一点点地构筑修葺，只是因为那个时候，你还个什么都不懂。。。 07.05.2009 我也想来一杯威士忌花了很大功夫，赶在天气真正热起来之前，终于慢慢让自己变得安静了些，小心地希望着这个夏天可以过得很清爽。
好像每次去适应一个新阶段的生活，我都得花上两年多的时间。完全适应之前，总是觉得很忙乱，甚至会带着些烦躁，却不知道自己整天在做什么。可活到现在，却总是在不断变换生活环境，因而常常活在一种好似过渡的状态，虽然不知道是在往什么方向过渡，也不知道是从什么状态开始的过渡。
用达哥的话说：有点乱。
刚看了部电影。剧情很简单，低落的开始，缓慢的发展中，有悲伤、有无奈，直到主人公抓住了“最后一次机会”，笑容才替代了他脸上的忧愁和失落。
尽管哈维身上有很多缺陷，也就是这些缺陷，让他的人生一直显得很失败，很可悲。可他的幽默感，还有剧中没有明显展现的对生活的坚韧，总让我给他的同情中带上了许多温暖，也就始终带有了对美好的希望。
很喜欢他这句台词：“Could I take that as a hopeful sign?”。还有随后而来的笑容。
在电影的浪漫结局中，我似乎越发平静了，那么就再专心一点，很好。 |
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